I'm leaving for the Philippines in a week. I'll be there for fifteen days, on the island of Samar, in Eastern Visayas. This will be interesting since I don't even speak Tagalog! I realize that this simple fact may come as a surprise to some of you, as I am more or less half-Filipino on my dad's side, but to be honest, it has taken me a long time to really understand the Filipino half of me. My great-grandma on my dad's side was a Hawaii born plantation girl from the island of Kaua'i. She grew up and married a Filipino man from the Visayas who was part of the first generation of Sakada people who worked the fields during Hawaii's early plantation days at the turn of the century. Their children, including my grandmother, were also born on a Kaua'i plantation just as their mother was. However, my grandma's life as a Kaua'i girl changed in the 1940's when her family went to the Philippines to visit her father's family who were still living there in the Visayan islands. Grandma was just a little girl then, it was to be an adventure. But while they were there, World War II broke out, and swept quickly down into Southeast Asia. My grandma and her family suddenly found themselves stuck in the Philippines, with no immediate hope of returning to Hawai'i, her land of birth. Grandma ended up making a life there, and like her sisters, she grew up and married a Visayan man. It wasn't until decades later, after Hawaii became a US State, that my great-grandma and grandma were able to return to Hawai'i with their families, under their new citizenship as Hawaii-born Americans. As the family migrated back to Hawaii, amongst the sea of children and grandchildren that came with them, they brought with them a rascal little grandson named Pastor. This was a boy who, although young, already carried with him many unbelievable stories, such as accidentally burning down his grandfather's copra farm simply out of spite towards a beehive, traveling all day to to the seashore just to catch fish for his mom, and other such misadventures. This little boy grew up to be my dad. One day in Hawai'i, when my dad was a teenage boy, he was climbing a mango tree in an old Hawaiian ladies backyard on the island of Molokai. After a while, the lady came out of her house, yelling at him to come down from the tree before he hurt himself. Inside the old lady's Hawaiian homestead house, one of her teenage granddaughters, a young local girl of mixed Native Hawaiian and Portuguese heritage, poked her head out the window to stare at that curiously courageous little boy. This local girl was to eventually become my mom.
My family spoke Pidgin English at home, just like everyone else on Molokai. But my mom could easily code-switch from Pidgin English into Standard American English whenever she needed to. My dad couldn't. Dad never spoke Standard American English, he could only speak Pidgin English. And even then, he spoke Pidgin with a different accent. His Pidgin always had a very distinct Filipino lilt to it. Despite knowing this about my dad, however, I never actually took the time to understand his history, let alone his language or culture. My knowledge of Filipino anything only went as far as occasionally eating adobo, chicken papaya and sometimes pinakbet. I also recall hearing the vague rumor that my dad's people were dog-eaters. That was about the extent of what I knew about Filipino culture. Recently, I asked my mom why none of us kids could speak Visayan, my dad's language, spoken in the Southern Philippines. She told me that Dad had tried to teach us when we were younger, he would even sing to us his traditional Visayan nursery songs, but we would just laugh at him, until one day, he stopped speaking to us in his mother tongue. To all of my friends, my dad was “Unko Pastah da Tako* Man!” Practically every day he would go out into the ocean to go diving, or spearfishing, with nothing more than a pair of fins, snorkel and goggles, a three-prong spear and tee. As kids, we would sit there behind the screen door, waiting for him, sometimes for hours, anxiously watching for signs of his return. Finally, when the dogs stood up from their spots on the porch and ran off barking towards the beach, we knew Dad was coming out of the ocean and that he would be home any minute. We would get up and grab the buckets and galvanized iron tubs, pull the water hose out into the yard and prepare to receive Dad's fresh catch of the day. In no time, he would come plodding around the corner, his shoulders weighed down heavily by his bent tee filled with freshly speared fish and tako. After gutting and scaling the fish, Dad would then have to pound# the tako. Pounding the tako was a long, drawn out process. He would first rub the tako with Hawaiian rock salt, let it soak in, then grab the tako by the head and repeatedly pound it's legs against a hard, flat surface. After some time of patiently pounding, the tako legs would curl up tightly and get frothy with salt and liquid. Then Dad would rinse it off under fresh water and repeat the whole process again, until the meat was soft and pliable, ready to be cooked. Even though I was just a little boy then, my dad was patient enough to teach me how to pound tako myself. He would stand behind me as I reached into the sink, gripping the slippery tako tightly in my little hands. He would wrap his arms around me and hold my hands firmly, showing me how to slam the tako down against the sink with just the right force to eventually get the legs to curl. I gradually got the rhythm of it on my own, until the point where Dad dubbed me his little tako pounder. “Yah, das how," he would say, smiling down at me, "Do um jus lyk dat, barok.” He always called me by his nickname for me. “You da bes tako poundah I get,” he would say. Sadly, despite all of these proud memories I have of my dad, I never honestly took the time to ask him about his native culture, language, food or childhood in the Philippines. It wasn't until 10 years ago when I moved to Lana'i, one of the other Hawaiian Islands, that my eyes were opened to the true beauty of Filipino culture. Yes, it was true, some of them really did eat dog. But I learned that there was so much more to being Filipino than just that. The old plantation community there mostly spoke Ilocano, a dialect from Northern Philippines, and I learned a lot about their customs. Colorful Ilocano words like napintas, nabangsit and naimas entered into my vocabulary, and I discovered that my dad's nickname for me, barok, was more than just a simple nickname. It was actually a Filipino phrase that affectionately meant: "My boy." When the locals on Lanai spoke English it was Pidgin English, like the rest of us locals in Hawaii, but I noticed that Lanaians spoke with the same Filipino lilt that my father spoke in. Even the locals born and raised on that Hawaiian island had the same Filipino accented Pidgin. I have moved to Taiwan since then, and having lived here for nearly three years now, I've become very close friends with many Filipinos who are overseas workers here. Whenever I told them stories of my dad growing up in the Philippines, they would encourage me to go to the Philippines and visit their friends and family there, and more importantly, to see the land of my father's birth. Last November I finally took a brief trip to Manila, my first time ever there. That trip opened my eyes and helped me to see that there are many layers to my father's culture. It set me upon a path of self-discovery, exploring what it really means to be Pinoy^, either part or pure. I've also decided to take a stab at learning Tagalog, Waraywaray or Hiligaynon. In my heart, I will always be an island boy, born in Kaunakakai Town and raised on the sands of Kawaikapu in Kainalu on a beach on the eastern end, Mana'e side, of Molokai, Hawai'i. The Hawaiian part of my culture and life will always be a part of me, it's something that I will never lose. But at the same time, I'm hoping that 2013 will be the year for me to finally find the 'inner adobo.' *Tako is the Pidgin word for octopus, from the Japanese word #Pound is a term used to describe a tenderizing process ^Pinoy is what Filipinos refer to themselves as being
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61 Comments
prmolokaiboy
1/25/2013 06:14:58 am
Staying home from school to go diving/fishing with dad, just because the water was nice that day. Oh, those were the days!!!
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1/25/2013 08:10:22 am
Shhh...no tell nobody! Your boss, Ms. Newberry, was my 6th grade teacher, remember?!
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Clarice
1/25/2013 06:22:45 am
Awesome story of your life as a youth in Manae. I can hear your dad now and am laughing (out loud)! Find your Inner Adobo!
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1/25/2013 08:06:59 am
Yeah, there are a LOT of really crazy memories growing up in Mana'e. One of the best is the story of my dad tackling a deer that came onto the property with his bare hands. He jumped on it and wrestled it to the ground, and called out to my mom to grab a knife, hoping to kill it, of course. She came out of the house with a butter knife in her hand! Aiyah!
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prmolokaiboy
1/25/2013 06:25:35 am
Dried squid/tako, squid luau, tako poke, mmm mmm good!
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prmolokaiboy
1/25/2013 08:02:27 am
I guess, I meant, octopus just has to many syllables to pronounce in Pidgin.
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1/25/2013 08:03:41 am
I wanted to get into all of dad's secret recipes for tako, but was already getting too long! And yeah, I guess I never thought of it that way, but you're right, octopus seems like a mouthful for us to say! Tako or squid, much faster!
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Barb
1/25/2013 07:37:36 am
Good reading! Were your grandparents married in Hawaii or Phillipines?
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1/25/2013 08:01:46 am
Glad you liked it. My dad's grandparents were married on a plantation in Hawai'i. My dad's parents were married in the Philippines.
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prmolokaiboy
1/25/2013 10:45:47 am
And don't forget, you gotta bite the eyes! Actually between the eyes until you feel the crunch!
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1/25/2013 01:11:57 pm
That's right! I love how the tourists would think dad was just saying that to get them to do something crazy and foolish, and then he'd bite the eye off right in front of them!
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prmolokaiboy
1/25/2013 11:31:15 am
I remember one Visayan nursery song. I'm not sure, so correct me if I'm wrong, but it started off something like this... (try to remember the rest)
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1/25/2013 01:13:24 pm
Haha, yeah I don't even remember any of that. You're a little bit older so maybe remember more. Maybe Lipo knows the rest of the song?
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Tako Man''''''
1/25/2013 02:38:50 pm
One Day'''' Usang adlaw
Molokai Mom
1/25/2013 11:53:56 am
So many memories come pouring out of my mind and heart as I read this beautiful piece. Your writing teachers would be so proud of you JR!
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1/25/2013 01:17:26 pm
Bottled adobo sauce!? What is that!? My friend Ruth gave me a simple recipe and turns out great. I'll try and find it for you guys. And tell dad now he gotta teach Micah-Kai how for pound tako!
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Suzy from Lanai
1/28/2013 08:21:18 am
Aunty Ming-toi, this story made me cry! So good to hear about your "boys," uncle pastor included :)
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Molokai Mom
1/25/2013 12:04:03 pm
By the way.....dad and I were proud of each one of our children! You each had a special gift of your own that provided us with fond memories that are etched in our hearts forever.
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1/25/2013 01:18:45 pm
Yeah, sorry I'll miss it this time. I wish I could be there for your guys anniversary, but at least I get for see you guys in July.
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prmolokaiboy
1/25/2013 02:34:50 pm
Oh JR, I wish I recorded dad reading this article out loud so you could hear him with all the sound effects, exclamations, onomatopoeia, and sidebar footnotes. Mom & Dad crying, laughing & reminiscing.
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1/25/2013 09:03:21 pm
Oh, seriously? That would've been perfect for the next newsletter! Try do em again, but make sure they don't know you stay recording, otherwise not going be natural! haha....or just get a clip of dad singing the Visayan song
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Molokai Mom & Tako Man
1/26/2013 12:22:36 pm
Too Late! It happens once in a blue moon. Forgot Paul was there for a moment. It was just mommy and daddy time....
Kalei
1/27/2013 12:02:18 am
The next time a new article is posted, you just gotta sit there and be real quiet w/ your camera ready. Maybe you'll record something really good.
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Kalei
1/27/2013 08:13:00 am
Pfff... it probably ain't nothing we seen or heard already. Aunty & Uncle are good examples of becoming one flesh, they just get a little carried away some time.
jackie
1/25/2013 08:09:47 pm
So this is the story behind this picture. Enjoy reading it.I know that song taco man mention. We always sing that song before.
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1/25/2013 09:06:10 pm
Haha, 'taco' is a Mexican wrap, 'tako' is octopus! Both taste good though.
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jackie
1/26/2013 09:28:14 pm
People who are a native speaker of Hiligaynon called Ilonggo if they are man and Ilongga if they are woman.
jackie
1/25/2013 09:29:14 pm
Whatever, "tako or taco". Hehe. My hometown is part of visayas so my dialect is almost similar to waray or cebuano. yeah your dad seems a very happy man. I remember my dad, we always stay at the table for an hour after meal time coz he has lots of joke. so we feel hungry again. So we ask mom to cook something for us again.
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1/26/2013 12:46:53 am
I remember my dad saying that Waray and Cebuano are very similar. I guess Ilonggo is in there as well. That's one thing that fascinates me about the Philippines. So many different angles on the same culture, like colorful threads that come together to make a beautiful fabric. It'll be interesting to see it for myself! And your dad sounds like a great guy! Yeah, my dad is crazy funny, whenever we're together as a family we are laughing and crying at the same time.
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Jackie
1/27/2013 09:55:37 am
Yeah, that's what i love with my dad too. He is very funny. Every night we are excited to hear his new jokes and short story.
Jared 陈睿
1/26/2013 11:56:34 am
Really enjoyable post!
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1/26/2013 10:05:16 pm
Hey man! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Maybe you can go and visit someday, too.
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Kalei
1/26/2013 11:58:52 pm
How come I didn't get an e-mail notice about this post? No LOVE man! LOL Aunty Ming-Toi running out w/ a butter knife... that is SO her. I should scan one the oooollllddd pictures I have of us when we were little and e-mail it to you, so you can write about that.
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1/27/2013 03:24:28 am
This was just published Fri/Sat, so the newsletter for it hasn't gone out yet. It should be sent around Tues/Wed. I'm gad you found it early though!
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Kalei
1/27/2013 08:24:47 am
Eeeeh... I don't know if I'm gonna even dig up those pictures. They're still @ my Mommy's house. Mmmm... I need to think about that. 1/28/2013 01:33:51 am
Exactly, Suzy, that's the point of this post! I'm learning how much it really is a part of me, and it's starting to affect the way I travel now. My travel plans for this whole year, and even my goals of life when I'm "staying still" in Taiwan, are all built around learning more about this side of my family history. It's exciting really. And the story of my mom and dad meeting is a story I grew up hearing over and over again, haha. Glad you liked it!
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Estefanía Garcia
1/28/2013 12:36:27 am
such a sweet story! now I now that tako with a K is not the same as Taco with a C lol. and now I also know why you wanted to eat Marychuys dog. hahahah.
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1/28/2013 01:36:12 am
Yeah, the taco/tako thing was a running joke in my head the whole time I was there in Mexico! I'm glad Marychuy didn't let me get my hands on her dog...he might have ended up being a taco! ;-)
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1/28/2013 08:02:28 am
Random. This trip was a toss up between Guiuan or Dumaguete. I will definitely get to Dumaguete some day soon, though. That's still in the works! Good to hear you enjoyed your time spent there. Any plans on going back?
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1/29/2013 01:28:50 am
Wow. Thanks for sharing your family history. Really Interesting. I am heading to the Philippines for the first time this year in March.
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1/29/2013 10:17:11 am
Thanks, Stephen! Glad you liked it. How long are you in the Philippines for? Which part? I hope you love it as much as I did.
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Maui Chelle
1/30/2013 01:57:44 pm
Thanks for taking all of us on a nice walk down memory lane with you JR! Unko Pastor and Aunty Ming-Toi must be proud of their "tako boy" haha. I can relate with a lot of what you said about not being in touch with the filipino, or shall i say, "adobo" side of you haha. I had a weird conflict growing up. You didn't want to seem so in touch with the culture and be made fun of as "bokbok" or be labeled a "FOB: fresh off the boat" in school (or actually, i say this speaking from myself) but then again, you weren't totally "american" either because of the pidgin. Only now do i appreciate our filipino heritage more-speaking honestly. :) Even though i listened to the ilocano language growing up and can comprehend (better than speak) and have been surrounded by the culture a bit, i still don't know A LOT. I wish i could cook more tasty dishes, speak the language, and really appreciate the life over there besides the fading stories that were told to me so many years ago. I'll catch my parents telling friends about their childhood and find some new story. Anyhow, enjoy your trip to Visayas. I heard it's a different kind of beauty then up North.
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2/12/2013 05:30:15 pm
Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this one, I've been stuck in internet-less land! You bring out some intriguing points, Chelle. From the perspective of someone whose parents were both "immigrants" poses some very unique challenges. But maybe those experiences are what makes you such an interesting individual!
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prmolokaiboy
1/31/2013 06:30:14 pm
Still eating mango from that tree my father climbed as a teenager when he caught my mothers eye for the first time.
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2/12/2013 05:31:06 pm
I was wondering if that was one of the mango trees still standing there.
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ai
1/31/2013 07:26:56 pm
What a cute story about your parents! I really enjoyed it.
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2/12/2013 05:32:32 pm
Good point, Ai. I agree, moving away helps you to see more clearly who you are as a person, and your indivdual "culture" is. Glad you're enjoying what you're reading so far! Let me know if you have any ideas for any articles as well.
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chelle
3/10/2013 04:59:11 pm
I lubbbb dis one! k so like how u taught me how for kill da duck I like learn how for make da tako
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3/11/2013 03:36:54 am
Haha, tanks ah, Chelle, for da lubbbb! K shoots den, I no mind, can teach u how for pound tako if u like. Gotta be fresh though, no can be da kine frozen kine.
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Nicole
5/6/2013 02:38:28 pm
Love this article JR! Too funny how your mom came running outside with a butter knife...lol! Your dad is one cool guy...you must get your coolness from him! =) I just love your parents...they're awesome! I got to go camping on Molokai @ the beach house your dad used to maintain. Daniel & Delia planned the trip...it was so much fun! I remember your dad going spear fishing with just fins, goggles/snorkel, & a 3-prong spear like u said & he came back with his catch of tako. He went diving for lobster with the guys too. I have so many fond memories of that trip. Oh yeah, about your dad climbing the tree...I saw that too. A frisbee got stuck in the coconut tree & he just just jumped on the tree & started climbing barefoot! We were like "Unko Paster be careful!!" Your dad has no fear! Lol! Thanks again for sharing these memories/stories w/us! =)
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Nicole, thanks for sharing your memories of time spent with my family on Molokai. I know, my dad and mom are full on trippers, and that's what makes them so memorable, right? I still think about waiting for midnight of September 1st every year for go grab lobster! Getting the fire going on the beach with big pot boiling water so we can all grine the first catch of the year togeddah! So what, you have any plans to go back to Molokai and visit someday?
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Nicole
9/29/2013 06:48:32 pm
Sorry this response is soo late! I've been back to Molokai once after that trip. I went with a bunch of my friends. We stayed at Molokai Sands (condos). It was nice there. Funny thing, when we got to the condos, the main office where we check in was closed since it was a holiday (Thanksgiving I think). We kinda panicked thinking we wouldn't be able to get our room that day, not knowing where to stay for the night. I called your dad & left a msg about our situation. As we were trying to figure things out, one of my friends noticed a slot in the door with a sign that read "office is closed...please return room keys here," or something to that effect. She wondered if we'd find our keys in there, so she looked in the slot & sure enough, there was an envelope with one of our friend's name on it! We were so relieved! I called your dad back & left a msg for him to disregard previous msg cuz we were now able to get into our room. (I guess he was super busy that day cuz he never answered my calls...lol! Or maybe he didn't recognize my #?) Anyways, needless to say, it was a somewhat crazy start to our trip, but the rest of our stay was awesome! We played tourists and visited the coffee farm, Mac nut farm, Laupahoehoe lookout (I may be wrong with the name...it's the lookout where you can see where the leper colony is), & saw turtle island just to name a few. I think we went from one end of the island to the other...lol! We also attended the meeting there. It was nice to see the friends again. We were invited to a get-together at the Domingo's house...it was so much fun! They had pool, ping pong, fooseball, & even karaoke! I think spending time with the friends was the highlight of the trip...well, for me anyways. Haven't been back to Molokai since, but I would definitely love to go back again one day! As the saying goes..."Molokai Mo' Bettah!" =) 1/20/2014 05:35:07 am
I love this story. I'm home on Oahu visiting my parents and helping them prep for a medical mission we will be doing this Feb. It will be in my dad's home town of Tuguegarao. I'm so excited to see where my dad is from. I hope more Filipino Americans have the opportunity to discover their Filipino side. Its been such an awakening for me. I shared this story with my mom. As we read it together, we almost cried at the end. SOOOOO good!
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Eva M.
1/10/2015 10:14:21 am
awesome read... cool parents... cool family ^ ^
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SUBSCRIBEABOUT MEI'm JR. I come from a long line of adventurers, some were nomadic explorers of the sea and others wandering cultivators of the earth. Ultimately, this legacy of drifters has deeply affected my view of travel. Read more...
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